Poetry By Doyle


GROWW FRIENDS

Each morning after I awake
I arise and sit on the edge of my bed
Thoughts soon run through my mind
I hear myself ask, can I get through another day
I get up walking over and looking into the mirror
Seeing myself, I looked more than my years
Itfs all happened since the untimely death
Silently I ask God for someone to help me with my day
After dressing I sit at my computer and go online
I find GROWW on my desktop and click on its icon
Like so many times Ifve done before
It helps to talk to friends who have become a new family to me
Wefll share our hurts and sorrows, maybe a laugh or two
And somewhere through the tears and sadness
Ifll find comfort and peace has befallen on me
My GROWW friends have become most precious to me

By Doyle Alldredge




Waiting For The Dust

Each afternoon I gaze down the road
Waiting for the dust trail
Bringing you home to me
I watch and wait
Time has passed
Deep within my heart, I know it will never be
Some say Im wasting time
As daily I search the road
They never knowing just what that I can see
I wait, I watch
I often see the memories that bring you home to me
No! My time is not wasted
As daily I search for you
The memories brings us once more together
I can feel your nearness
With each memory I recall
Oh yes, the road still brings you to me
Though I never will again see the dust
I know that you will come
It is not the dust but the road
Which brings you home to me

Written by Coleman Doyle Alldredge, 2002


This poem above was written of how I looked for the dust to fling up as Yancy came home on Friday evenings. It's the first grief poem I wrote for my son.




Didn't Have Time To Say Goodbye

Didn't have time to say goodbye
As the angels carried me into the sky
As I turned to look back trying to see
I knew that tears would be shed for me

I wouldn't change anything that day
When God called me to come His way
All fears, doubts, and pains were gone
Nothing but happiness as I entered God's home

I looked and saw family and friends grieve for me
In everyones sad heart I saw special love for me
As I was gazing at the family I left behind
God promised we would be together once more in time

Cry not for me anymore but only rejoice
Before my death I made the right choice
I'm in heaven today just where you wanted me
Thanks to the prayers that was prayed for me

In due time we will meet again once more
I'll be waiting as you enter God's door
What a great reunion that will be
As we praise God together you and me

Written by Coleman Doyle Alldredge, 2003


This poem above was written for Yancy's first Angelversary.



Stand By Me

Today I was told the most horrible thing
Something a parent of a loss child never wants to hear
The words still reflect off the walls of my mind
Words no parent ever wants to hear
Why! Why do people say such a hurtful thing
I can only guess they have not been where I am today
If so, those words would not have been spoken
I would not be hurting so as I did that awful day
Why cannot people be more gentle and caring
Towards parents who has loss their child
To have more compassion and understanding
Help us to not to forget our child
Our lives have forever been changed
Though some may never know or see
Yet with our loss we must continue on in life
Please, just support and stand by me

Doyle Alldredge, 20 September 2009




Angels Whisper In The Wind

Sometimes, when alone
Thoughts of my child
Is the only thing on my mind
Everything around me
Becomes void
Only memories of my child is on my mind
Suddenly, I hear a sound
So soft it's almost inaudible
A whisper floating in the wind
A whisper so familiar
Chills cover my soul
Is it my angel whispering in the wind
I'm sure of what I heard
I was not dreaming
My heart tells me it's true
Do other parents hear what I hear
A voice so familiar to them
Their angels whispering in the wind
Is it our angels way
To let us know
They are with us again
I just don't know
But I hope its true
Our angels whispering in the wind

Doyle Alldredge, 9 January 2009





When I call Your Name

When I call your name
And no answer returns
So great becomes my pain
Then yet, I will again call out your name
The silence I receive after I call
Cuts deeply into my heart
A heart already grief shattered
Not hearing you just tears me apart
I'm lostin a dimension of here and not
Unable to escape this pain and sorrow
Crying out for help, yet not wanting it
Always praying for a better tomorrow
No matter my pain or sorrow
There is only one thing I will continue to do
As I live out this nightmare I'm living
That is to continue to forever loving you

Written by Doyle Alldredge, 9 July 2010


A Prisoner of Grief

Each day I awake, an emptiness fills my soul
First thought I have is my child is no longer here
Tears form and trickle down my cheeks
I feel so alone in a vasness of space
I crave for my child whom I cannot hold
I retain so much love I can no longer give
My heart aches daily for the one I love
My arms ache to hug yet they cannot
Shackled by grief, I'm a prisoner to myself
Confinded to a cell of lonliness for life
Unable to be freed from this tornment and paid
Daily pleading for a reprieve
I can only wait until I join my child
Only then will I be set free from my grief
The chains of pain and heartache will come loose
Love will return unto this broken heart
A pardon I will be given to set me free
My arms wrapping around my child
Tears of love flowing as we embrace
Forever together In a loving place

Doyle Alldredge, 16 August 2009


Missing You

Tear drops falling down my face
I feel so much out of place
With family all around
I still feel so terribly lonely
Your death brought my life to a stand still
To keep on living sometimes I have no will
But I must keep going along
I must keep our house a home
At times wonder how its a home without you
Its so hard doing things without you
It doesnt feel right to me at all
But I know youre still with us all
Someday we will be together again
We will be a whole family again
Until we all come to be with you
We send our heartfelt love to you

By Doyle Alldredge, 05 May 2006




From The Heart of A Dad

When my child died
I faded into the background
Leaving the grieving to my wife
I stayed strong not making a sound
I had to be there for the family
I watched with a broken heart
Fighting to hold my tears back
I couldn't be weak, I had to do the man part
Little did I know the hurt I was causing
My family couldn't understand the why
Why, I could show no emotions
Silently asking me to themselves, didn't your child die
One day I found out it's alright for a man to cry
Storing my emotions and grief had been so wrong
Dad's, you need to let go and feel free to cry
It brings a peace to your family and home
Weep for your child, you can be angry too
It only shows how much you love your child
It shows how much you love your family too
You'll never change from who you are, the dad of your child

Written by Doyle Alldredge, 2 February 2009




When I Get To Where I'm Going

When I get to where I'm going
I will miss you know more
This hurt will go away
The loneliness will be no more
When I get to where I'm going
No more tears will I cry
No sadness will there ever be
No more questions as to why
When I get to where I'm going
There will be only joy in my heart
When I get to where I'm going
All grief will then depart
When I get to where I'm going
I'll share my love with you
There will be great joy in my heart
Because I'll be in heaven with you

Written by Doyle Alldredge, 24 Janurary 2009



The Music

Silently sometimes in the night
I close my eyes and listen to the quiet
Somewhere in the back of my mind
I hear your music thats been lost in time
My heart beats rapidly as if keeping with each beat
I know its for real for I am never asleep
A smile slowly comes across my face
Then I feel the first tear as it floats down my face
I so miss your music you shared at home
I thought it would be forever gone
Now sometimes I hear it in the night
I know son everything is all right.

Doyle Alldredge, 12 November 2006




I Never Knew

I never knew how much I could miss you
Until the day I could see you no more
I never knew how empty my heart could be
Living my life is not life anymore
I never knew how a heart could ache
No medicine can take this pain away
My soul has been bruised and torn
I became a different person that day
I never knew loneliness until now
I can be in a crowd and yet feel alone
So few people I can share my pain with
I wish this terrible loneliness was gone
I never knew but now I know
With the loss of your child
Your life, your world changes
I never knew until, I lost my child

Written by Doyle Alldredge, 7 November 2008




Message of a Suicide Survivor

I do not know the reason of you taking your life
So young a person with so much to live for
Could you not come to me, to anyone
The situtation may have changed so it didn't get this far
Why could I not see, why did I not know
Could I have made a difference for you
Could we not talked about what drove you to this
My precious child you knew that I have nothing but love for you
What was so bad that took you away from me
If only, if only you just came to me
Surely the outcome would not have been your life
If only you did, you may now still be with me

Doyle Alldredge, 27 April 2010




Mother's Day

Hugs to all the Angels Moms
Come this Mother's day
This day will never be the same for you
As you try to live through the day
Many moms will remember Mother's Days past
Remembering the cards made of love
That brought smiles upon their face
Handmade by their angel now in heaven above
Moms of miscarriaged or still angels
Know your angel knows you're their mom
The bonds of a mother and child is always there
You are and always will be their mom
Angel Moms I hold you all in prayer
Though Mother's Day may be hard for you
Please remember this one thing
Your angels will be watching and sending their love to you

Doyle Alldredge, 9 May 2010




Our Christmas Town

As I sit here tonight by the firelight
I close my eyes and vision a town
A special town filled with my GROWW friends
Our very own Christmas Town
It's Christmas night
I see a huge gazebo in the center of town
A giant christmas tree at its side
In our Christmas Town
It's a special night
All my friends are gathered round
Singing songs to God and our angels
Here at our Christmas Town
The night air is crisp
A light snow falling to the ground
Oh what a beautiful sight
Here in our Christmas Town

Lights refect off our tears as we sing
No better friendship can be found
Hand in hand we stand together
Where grief isn't allowed
In our Christmas Town

Doyle Alldredge, 12 December 2009




"Each day passing does not take me farther from my child:
Each day passing only brings me one day closer to my child"....
Doyle Alldredge


In Memory of Yancy Doyle Alldredge


To order Doyle's book of poetry, "Angels Whisper in the Wind" (pictured above),
click on the tag below and send an email to Doyle about his book.