Poetry By Doyle GROWW FRIENDS Each morning after I awake I arise and sit on the edge of my bed Thoughts soon run through my mind I hear myself ask, can I get through another day I get up walking over and looking into the mirror Seeing myself, I looked more than my years It�fs all happened since the untimely death Silently I ask God for someone to help me with my day After dressing I sit at my computer and go online I find GROWW on my desktop and click on its icon Like so many times I�fve done before It helps to talk to friends who have become a new family to me We�fll share our hurts and sorrows, maybe a laugh or two And somewhere through the tears and sadness I�fll find comfort and peace has befallen on me My GROWW friends have become most precious to me By Doyle Alldredge Waiting For The Dust Each afternoon I gaze down the road Waiting for the dust trail Bringing you home to me I watch and wait Time has passed Deep within my heart, I know it will never be Some say I�m wasting time As daily I search the road They never knowing just what that I can see I wait, I watch I often see the memories that bring you home to me No! My time is not wasted As daily I search for you The memories brings us once more together I can feel your nearness With each memory I recall Oh yes, the road still brings you to me Though I never will again see the dust I know that you will come It is not the dust but the road Which brings you home to me Written by Coleman Doyle Alldredge, 2002 This poem above was written of how I looked for the dust to fling up as Yancy came home on Friday evenings. It's the first grief poem I wrote for my son. Didn't Have Time To Say Goodbye Didn't have time to say goodbye As the angels carried me into the sky As I turned to look back trying to see I knew that tears would be shed for me I wouldn't change anything that day When God called me to come His way All fears, doubts, and pains were gone Nothing but happiness as I entered God's home I looked and saw family and friends grieve for me In everyone�s sad heart I saw special love for me As I was gazing at the family I left behind God promised we would be together once more in time Cry not for me anymore but only rejoice Before my death I made the right choice I'm in heaven today just where you wanted me Thanks to the prayers that was prayed for me In due time we will meet again once more I'll be waiting as you enter God's door What a great reunion that will be As we praise God together you and me Written by Coleman Doyle Alldredge, 2003 This poem above was written for Yancy's first Angelversary. Stand By Me Today I was told the most horrible thing Something a parent of a loss child never wants to hear The words still reflect off the walls of my mind Words no parent ever wants to hear Why! Why do people say such a hurtful thing I can only guess they have not been where I am today If so, those words would not have been spoken I would not be hurting so as I did that awful day Why cannot people be more gentle and caring Towards parents who has loss their child To have more compassion and understanding Help us to not to forget our child Our lives have forever been changed Though some may never know or see Yet with our loss we must continue on in life Please, just support and stand by me Doyle Alldredge, 20 September 2009 Angels Whisper In The Wind Sometimes, when alone Thoughts of my child Is the only thing on my mind Everything around me Becomes void Only memories of my child is on my mind Suddenly, I hear a sound So soft it's almost inaudible A whisper floating in the wind A whisper so familiar Chills cover my soul Is it my angel whispering in the wind I'm sure of what I heard I was not dreaming My heart tells me it's true Do other parents hear what I hear A voice so familiar to them Their angels whispering in the wind Is it our angels way To let us know They are with us again I just don't know But I hope its true Our angels whispering in the wind Doyle Alldredge, 9 January 2009 When I call Your Name When I call your name And no answer returns So great becomes my pain Then yet, I will again call out your name The silence I receive after I call Cuts deeply into my heart A heart already grief shattered Not hearing you just tears me apart I'm lostin a dimension of here and not Unable to escape this pain and sorrow Crying out for help, yet not wanting it Always praying for a better tomorrow No matter my pain or sorrow There is only one thing I will continue to do As I live out this nightmare I'm living That is to continue to forever loving you Written by Doyle Alldredge, 9 July 2010 A Prisoner of Grief Each day I awake, an emptiness fills my soul First thought I have is my child is no longer here Tears form and trickle down my cheeks I feel so alone in a vasness of space I crave for my child whom I cannot hold I retain so much love I can no longer give My heart aches daily for the one I love My arms ache to hug yet they cannot Shackled by grief, I'm a prisoner to myself Confinded to a cell of lonliness for life Unable to be freed from this tornment and paid Daily pleading for a reprieve I can only wait until I join my child Only then will I be set free from my grief The chains of pain and heartache will come loose Love will return unto this broken heart A pardon I will be given to set me free My arms wrapping around my child Tears of love flowing as we embrace Forever together In a loving place Doyle Alldredge, 16 August 2009 Missing You Tear drops falling down my face I feel so much out of place With family all around I still feel so terribly lonely Your death brought my life to a stand still To keep on living sometimes I have no will But I must keep going along I must keep our house a home At times wonder how it�s a home without you It�s so hard doing things without you It doesn�t feel right to me at all But I know you�re still with us all Someday we will be together again We will be a whole family again Until we all come to be with you We send our heartfelt love to you By Doyle Alldredge, 05 May 2006 From The Heart of A Dad When my child died I faded into the background Leaving the grieving to my wife I stayed strong not making a sound I had to be there for the family I watched with a broken heart Fighting to hold my tears back I couldn't be weak, I had to do the man part Little did I know the hurt I was causing My family couldn't understand the why Why, I could show no emotions Silently asking me to themselves, didn't your child die One day I found out it's alright for a man to cry Storing my emotions and grief had been so wrong Dad's, you need to let go and feel free to cry It brings a peace to your family and home Weep for your child, you can be angry too It only shows how much you love your child It shows how much you love your family too You'll never change from who you are, the dad of your child Written by Doyle Alldredge, 2 February 2009 When I Get To Where I'm Going When I get to where I'm going I will miss you know more This hurt will go away The loneliness will be no more When I get to where I'm going No more tears will I cry No sadness will there ever be No more questions as to why When I get to where I'm going There will be only joy in my heart When I get to where I'm going All grief will then depart When I get to where I'm going I'll share my love with you There will be great joy in my heart Because I'll be in heaven with you Written by Doyle Alldredge, 24 Janurary 2009 The Music Silently sometimes in the night I close my eyes and listen to the quiet Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear your music that�s been lost in time My heart beats rapidly as if keeping with each beat I know it�s for real for I am never asleep A smile slowly comes across my face Then I feel the first tear as it floats down my face I so miss your music you shared at home I thought it would be forever gone Now sometimes I hear it in the night I know son everything is all right. Doyle Alldredge, � 12 November 2006 I Never Knew I never knew how much I could miss you Until the day I could see you no more I never knew how empty my heart could be Living my life is not life anymore I never knew how a heart could ache No medicine can take this pain away My soul has been bruised and torn I became a different person that day I never knew loneliness until now I can be in a crowd and yet feel alone So few people I can share my pain with I wish this terrible loneliness was gone I never knew but now I know With the loss of your child Your life, your world changes I never knew until, I lost my child Written by Doyle Alldredge, 7 November 2008 Message of a Suicide Survivor I do not know the reason of you taking your life So young a person with so much to live for Could you not come to me, to anyone The situtation may have changed so it didn't get this far Why could I not see, why did I not know Could I have made a difference for you Could we not talked about what drove you to this My precious child you knew that I have nothing but love for you What was so bad that took you away from me If only, if only you just came to me Surely the outcome would not have been your life If only you did, you may now still be with me Doyle Alldredge, 27 April 2010 Mother's Day Hugs to all the Angels Moms Come this Mother's day This day will never be the same for you As you try to live through the day Many moms will remember Mother's Days past Remembering the cards made of love That brought smiles upon their face Handmade by their angel now in heaven above Moms of miscarriaged or still angels Know your angel knows you're their mom The bonds of a mother and child is always there You are and always will be their mom Angel Moms I hold you all in prayer Though Mother's Day may be hard for you Please remember this one thing Your angels will be watching and sending their love to you Doyle Alldredge, 9 May 2010 Our Christmas Town As I sit here tonight by the firelight I close my eyes and vision a town A special town filled with my GROWW friends Our very own Christmas Town It's Christmas night I see a huge gazebo in the center of town A giant christmas tree at its side In our Christmas Town It's a special night All my friends are gathered round Singing songs to God and our angels Here at our Christmas Town The night air is crisp A light snow falling to the ground Oh what a beautiful sight Here in our Christmas Town Lights refect off our tears as we sing No better friendship can be found Hand in hand we stand together Where grief isn't allowed In our Christmas Town Doyle Alldredge, 12 December 2009 "Each day passing does not take me farther from my child: Each day passing only brings me one day closer to my child".... Doyle Alldredge In Memory of Yancy Doyle Alldredge To order Doyle's book of poetry, "Angels Whisper in the Wind" (pictured above), click on the tag below and send an email to Doyle about his book.