 James "Jimmy" E. Poffinbarger III March 5, 1971 - September 7, 2003   when he chose that day to get married. He wanted to come in costume, but his bride wouldn’t go that far! It was a small wedding, around 50 people. Jimmy catered it himself. He did a beautiful job and I was so proud of him.    This has always been a favorite picture of mine.   It was my only niece's 1st birthday. Her BIG first birthday party was going on at my parents' house, downstairs. I was heavy into dirt circle track racing with my dad. My modified was in the downstairs garage and I was working like crazy on it trying to get it ready to go to Savannah, MO that night. I missed out on most of the birthday party, but since it was just a room over, I could hear all of the fun they were having. I got the car ready and loaded up and most of the family headed up to Savannah. It was ridiculously hot outside. We hauled a little over an hour to get there to find out they had cancelled the races due to heat. My brother's youngest son was coming up to meet us at the races. Since that didn't happen, we all went out to eat in St. Joe.  My brother had just moved to Arkansas a few months prior. It was a tough time. We had our differences, but he was getting his life figured out and seemed like he was on a good path. However, that all changed on August 30, 2003, a little before midnight, when he left work from the restaurant. It was pouring down rain. He hydroplaned around a sharp corner and hit another vehicle head on.  I remember the phone call a little before 3:00 am from my parents. They told me to get ready, Jimmy had been in an accident, they would be there in 15 minutes to pick me and my ex-wife up. The emergency crew wanted to life flight him to Springfield, MO, but couldn't because the weather was so bad, so they had to bring him by ambulance. If we hurried, we would get to Springfield about the same time they got him there. My dad drove his ass off in one of the worst storms I can remember. How we got there so quick and with no issues, still amazes me.  My family was devastated. Two people from the other vehicle had died that night. Another one was in critical condition. My brother was fighting for his life as well. We lived in the hospital for days while Jimmy was fighting his battle. We had unbelievable support from family and friends.  Jimmy was in a coma. (drug enforced coma later on) There was never much communication with him after his accident. I was the first one that got any kind of communication out of him. I remember telling him that Frankenstein didn't have anything on him. That's when he barely raised his hand and flipped me off. I had never been so happy in my life to be flipped off. At that point, I just knew my big brother would be fine. However, I was wrong. He fought a lot of battles, but there was just too much damage to his body. He passed away on September 7, 2003.  Kind of ironic that 15 years to the day, I'm planning on going to another race track, but for dirt bikes this time. Not sure if we'll make it because it's been raining like crazy. For some reason, with me being old, fat and my first attempt to ride a dirt bike on a track in a mudfest, just doesn't sound like the smartest idea. We'll see how it goes this evening though.  Love you and miss you brother. Until we meet again.          Here we are again at the beginning of the end. It has been 15 years since your accident that changed us all forever... I still wear your 'Forever in my Heart' bracelet all the time, but no one ever comments on it anymore. There are so many of them out there now for so many different causes and reasons, I think most people just ignore them. But this week, 2 different people have noticed yours and asked about the bracelet and you. It felt good to talk about you to someone other than family. Both were actually very interested in your story and your life even though they didn't know you or anything about you before, but now they do. As I was looking for things to add, since there aren't any new photographs with you and there never will be, I ran across something Rose Kennedy said “It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” She is right, even after 15 long years, the pain of losing you has lessened, but it is never gone.    Our hearts are forever missing the piece that you took with you when you left 15 years ago. Our hearts are forever broken. We still miss you Jimmy. You are forever in my heart, Love always, Mom    Right now I'm in a different place And though we seem far apart I'm closer than I ever was I'm there inside your heart I'm with you when you greet each day And when the sun shines bright I'm there to share the sunsets too I'm with you every night I'm with you when the times are good To share a laugh or two And if a tear should start to fall I'll always be there for you And when the day arrives That we are no longer apart I'll smile and hold you close to me Forever in your heart   Jimmy was struggling in his life and trying very hard to make some positive changes. He decided to make a move and start over, so he moved about 6 hours away. He had been there about 6 months and was doing very well. He had a job at a local restaurant that he loved and he had started giving guitar lessons again. He only had one student, but it was a start. He was also thinking of selling his home made salad dressings on the internet. When we packed up all of his stuff, we found his recipes in a book he was reading. There weren’t any measurements, just the ingredients.  and was still raining when he left. A policeman passed Jimmy going the other direction and said he was going way too fast so he turned around to go after him. By the time he turned around the accident had already happened. Apparently Jimmy came to curve in the highway and was going too fast to make the turn in the rain and crossed the center line just as another car was coming by. Jimmy hit them head on. There were 5 people in that car. The driver and the front seat passenger died at the scene. One of the passengers in the back seat was seriously injured, but survived. Two of the 3 people in the back seat were taken to the hospital and released later with non life threatening injuries. The police said it took them 40 minutes to cut Jimmy out of the car and that he was awake and talking to them. They took him to the local hospital that immediately knew they could not handle his injuries. They attempted to stabilize him enough to transport him to a larger facility 3 hours away. The problem at this point was that it was still storming so bad that they couldn’t get a chopper up to life flight him. We found out right about this time. Jimmy’s dad called us and all I remember is screaming and throwing the phone and Mike picking it up and talking to him. He said the doctors didn’t think Jimmy could survive the ambulance transport, but that was his only chance. We called Mikey, picked him up and started the 3 hours to the hospital. It was the longest 3 hours of my life. I don’t know how Mike got us there; it was still storming like crazy. I couldn’t even see the road, but Mike just kept driving. When we got into the town it was early in the morning and Mike was running all the stop lights to get us there as quick as possible. and learn what kind of shape Jimmy was in. From the beginning of this ordeal, the doctors never gave us any hope. They said he wouldn’t make the transport to the hospital and then they didn’t think he would survive the surgery… but he survived both. He went on to survive several more surgeries; they left his abdomen open and covered in something that looked like cellophane, you could see his organs moving, it was very strange. When the nurse asked if we wanted to see it for the first time, I said yes and my sister told me later that she moved behind me to catch me when I passed out. But I didn’t, the whole situation was so unreal at that point that it didn’t really bother me. After the first surgery the doctor came into talk to us and at first said he didn’t think I should go into see Jimmy because of how bad he was. I basically told him there was no way in hell he was keeping me from seeing my son. He looked at my husband, and he agreed with me and the doctor let us go in. The doctor didn’t give us any hope now either…but we never gave up hope, we never thought he was dying; we were planning how to get him into rehab and recovery. and bring him out of the coma to see if he could breathe on his own. One of the times we were in the room and he opened his eyes and looked around. The nurse was talking to him to keep him calm. He was trying to say something but we couldn’t understand him, finally we figured out he wanted a pencil and paper so he could write to us. One of us held the paper and I held the pencil in his hand and he wrote ‘head’. He had a pretty big cut on his forehead and I’m sure it hurt, so his brother looked at him and said Frankenstein’s got nothing on you! Jimmy just lifted his hand and flipped him off. It was the best thing I had seen in days!! Our hearts soared; we thought this was a definite sign that he was going to be OK. We kept making plans to bring him home. On the 8th day the doctor came into the waiting room and said that Jimmy had a hole in his heart valve that they hadn’t found until then and there was no way for them to repair it at this point. Jimmy’s blood pressure had dropped severely and they were keeping him alive with CPR. They asked what we wanted them to do and we told them to stop the CPR and let him go. We went in and stayed with him; he died within 30 minutes. We were in total shock…   You can visit her website for her son Rob here ~Rob Northrop's Site.     I just read your 'final story' again and it all came back just like it happened yesterday, not 15 long years ago. It made me cry, as always, but still glad I read it. I don't very often, because it still hurts too much, even after all these years. But I had forgotten the real shock of you actually dying. As silly as it sounds, we really never thought that was a possibility. We thought since you communicated with us and seemed to know we were there the few times they woke you up, that it was just a matter of getting you stable and home and started healing. We never thought you would die. It did not cross my mind, regardless of anything around us, we never uttered the words and I never once thought it... maybe others did, I've never asked them. But reading the story again reminds me how really shocked we were. I think it is so horrible that your mind just won't let you go there until there is no choice. Even then I think your brain keeps you in that fog for a couple of years to try to protect your heart, but it doesn't work. Eventually you come out of the fog and your heart is still broken, never to heal, never to be the same again. Like mine still is now. I really miss you Jimmy. Social media is a big deal these days, Facebook is the only one I use and that is just to keep up with the kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews and everyone else in the family. I love seeing all the families and how they have grown and keeping up with everyone. Anyway, Johnny posted an old picture of your High School band Stalker that Nancy took. When I first saw it my heart skipped a beat. Seeing a new picture of you, even from way back then, was like opening up a new memory. Seeing you and remembering your long curly hair that I helped you perm and your animal print leggins (not what they were called back then!) was amazing. I love the picture even though it is difficult to see clearly. Thanks Johnny. This being the fifteenth year since you left, I decided not to run the memorial in the newspaper this year. No one reads the newspaper anymore anyway, everything is online. Carol usually posts a picture of you and I will this year also instead of the newspaper. I love you Jimmy. You are forever in my heart. Love always, Mom  and when I saw it my heart skipped a beat! It is hard to explain the feeling when you see a new picture you haven't seen before. The band actually played a few gigs back then and were pretty good. Jimmy drew the Stalker logo that is in the background.   it gets a lot of attention, which he loves. Just like his other motorcycle, there are thoughts and memories of you throughout the design.   The other picture shows a Corona beer bottle that is the gas gauge, also in memory of you Jimmy.     He loves his drums just like his grandfather Jimmy did. (He also loves Elmo!)   For even just one day, I’d tell you what you meant to me before you went away. If only I could hold you now And kiss your handsome face. I’d ask God to take me first And gladly take your place. If only I could have been there For you on that terrible day I’d take you by the hand, My Son And walk with you all the way.   But in our hearts you still live on Our family chain is broken And nothing is the same. We mention your name And speak of you often. God Bless you Jimmy You will never be forgotten.   and are sometimes very persistent. A couple of years ago, we had family in town from Texas and we were in the backyard swimming and enjoying the day. There was one lone dragonfly that stayed with us most of the afternoon. He would fly just inches above our heads and sometimes land on them, and then back to hovering above us. I read some where on the internet that “the image of the dragonfly sparks the creative power of the imagination. Living in an aura of fantasy, the dragonfly’s fluttering wings inspire thoughts of fairies and butterflies; bubbles and snowflakes. They flit from flower to flower, from tree to tree; settling on dew-kissed leaves and grass. Within sight yet always out of reach.” For us… they inspire thoughts of Jimmy.   the memory becomes a treasure." ~Author Unknown   James Edward Poffinbarger III "Jimmy"  Loving you is easy, We do it every day, Missing you is a heartache That never goes away. You are forever in our hearts Until we meet again.... Love, Mom, Mike, Nick, Conrad, Eric, Mikey, Stacey, Tyler, Bryce, Sheri, David, Ruby and Grandma Evans  A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But... there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that is how horrifying the loss is!    A funny thing happened the other day; I went riding on my motorcycle for the first time by myself. I was a little nervous but took the same path that Mike and I have been taking for the last few weeks while I’m learning. I went through the neighborhood without any problems and then got out on F Highway that runs along the river. The speed limit is a little higher and it is a curvy road which also makes me nervous, but I was determined to do it by myself. All of a sudden I came to what seemed like a million dragon flies flying all around the road. I was so surprised and immediately thought of you and that you were there with me. I took a deep breath and relaxed and had the best ride ever. What a great feeling. Thank you.  and whether or not they can still be reached, leave us signs, etc. and as far as I am concerned there really isn’t any way to prove one way or the other. It is like believing in GOD in some ways, there is no proof but there are signs and some of us chose to believe and some don’t. I find it interesting that the majority of the people that don’t believe do believe in GOD when it is the same theory. Anyway my thoughts are that when I believe I have gotten a sign from you, it makes me think of you and smile and that makes me feel good. So regardless of whether you left me the sign or not… the result is the same, I still thought of you and smiled. So what or who can it hurt? Definitely not me. The dragon flies made me smile and enjoy my ride. When you and Dean play the IPOD, we all smile. So please don’t stop!  than I can ever put into words. All of our lives have moved on, as they should, but there is a hole in our family that only you could fill. I tried to find some different pictures to add to your website this year, but wasn’t very successful. I have lots of you as a little boy but as you got older you never really wanted to be in the pictures or you weren’t around or something. Every time I look at them they just seem to get older and older. They remind me that we are leaving you behind and I hate that. So I tend to stay away from the older pictures. I let Stacey and Sheri take most of the pictures now and I get copies when I need or want them. I would love to find a lost box of pictures that was filled with pictures of you and the boys, you and Mikey and Sheri, etc. What a great find that would be!  I hope you are at peace and happy wherever you are and I hope that you are watching over us and sending us those little signs whenever you can.  Love always, Mom     Pennies From Heaven Just laying on the ground, But it’s not just a penny This little coin I’ve found. Found pennies come from Heaven That’s what my Grandpa told me, He said “Angels toss them down” Oh, how I loved that story… He said “When an Angel misses you They toss a penny down, Sometimes just to cheer you up And make a smile out of your frown”. So don’t pass by that penny When you‘re feeling blue, It may be a penny from Heaven That an Angel tossed to you. ~ Author Unknown       Your memory Is kept, To love and to cherish, And never forget.  he would talk to his girlfriend until he fell asleep, with her still on the phone!               he had tattooed on his head.      went on a cruise to Cancun. At the time it wasn't what we expected it to be, but I am so glad we all went together.    ones he has only seen from above as he watches over us.  This is the last picture I have of the three of them together.     But in our hearts you are always there, The gates of memory will never close, We miss you more than anyone knows, With tender love and deep regret, We who love you will never forget. Let it not be said my life was in vain, I've just moved on to a higher plane. So I can keep better watch over you, As you move on like you need to do Though this life has reached an end, I'm waiting for you around the bend. I beg you please don't weep for me! It's not so bad for soon you'll see, That I will linger long past this sunset, In the hearts of you who love me yet. ~ Author unknown  It still breaks my heart that you aren't in the pictures with us and it was hard to do this. But if you look closely, all of us girls are wearing angels. The angels are for you Jimmy, in your memory. We all miss you so much.    He won a state contest with a picture he drew in the 8th grade that still hangs in our living room. He used only a pencil. It is beautiful. When Jimmy was in his late teens, he created a ‘chain mail’ vest for his leather jacket. He used tiny pieces of some type of metal wire and interlocked each individual piece of metal. It took him months to create and it is really quite amazing (I still have it, too). He also sculpted a set of 4 miniature guitars that were absolutely beautiful. These are just a few of the projects he worked on over the years.   The Christmas of 2002, the last Christmas we all spent together at my sister’s house, we were making the usual turkey and ham with all the fixings. Well neither my sister nor I know how to glaze a ham, so Jimmy stepped in and made the best glaze we had ever tasted. Everyone loved it and was amazed that he could just throw it together like that. Jimmy also made the best soups. He made a broccoli and cheese soup and potato soup that were unbelievable. Before Jimmy passed, he was thinking about starting a website to sell his home made salad dressings, but he never got very far. When we packed up his things at his house, I found his recipes in his favorite book. I thought about trying them out, but typical for Jimmy, he has only the ingredients written down, not the measurements. He was like my mother, always cooking without measuring, just knowing the right amounts.  Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you Until we meet again!     Everything about him reminds me of you.  Friends may think we have forgotten When at times they see us smile. Little do they know the heartaches That our smiles hide all the while. Beautiful memories are wonderful things. That last till the longest day. They never wear out. They never get lost and can never be given away. To some you may be forgotten. To others apart of the past. But to those who loved and lost you... Your memory will always last. ~ Author Unknown     The Moment that you died, Our hearts split in two, The one side filled with memories The other died with you. I often lay awake at night, When the world is fast asleep, And take a walk down memory lane, With tears upon my cheeks. Remembering you is easy, I do it every day, But missing you is a heartache, That never goes away. We hold you tightly within our hearts, And there you will remain, Life has gone on without you, But will never be the same.    When I must leave you for a little while- Please do not grieve and shed wild tears And hug your sorrow to you Through the years, But start out bravely with a gallant smile; And for my sake and in my name Live on and do all things the same, Feed not your loneliness on empty days, But fill each waking hour in useful ways, Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near; And never, never be afraid to die, For I am waiting for you in the sky! By Helen Steiner Rice         Remembered forever in our hearts Ann, Laurasmom   GEOFFREY P. EDWARDS  Mom I am your ANGEL That now lives up above Mom I haven't left you Every day I send you my love I know you can't see me And that really hurts you But I am with you every day So please don't feel down and blue One day we will all be together But you must not keep asking Just like me I had done my time Only GOD knows And in HIM you must believe Written By Sue-Anne Aguilera~~~Lee'sMom MY DEEPEST LOVE TO YOU KIM       A friend can hear a tear drop.   This webpage is created                  I'm sure he took God's hand and went home with him. May you always feel your precious angel near. God bless you and bring your heart peace.     |